Useless Shed Facts

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Useless Shed Facts

We’ve given you enough helpful information. We’ve picked up enough nonsense facts while we were doing our research to fill an entirely episode of QI. So rather than let it go to waste, we’re sharing this beyond useless facts with you, you beautiful bowsey, you.

I mean, if you’re looking at buying a shed, you’re probably not having a whole lot of fun. So, you need to have spirits lifted. Put down the measuring tape. Forget about eves and apexes for a second and enjoy these absolutely pointless shed facts. If anyone asks, it’s essential research.

Fastest Shed

Kevin Nicks set a world record for the World’s Fastest Shed in 2017, when his wooden shed hit 96.8mph. (‘My other shed is a porch’, is the best bumper sticker we’ve ever seen)

The world's fastest shed driving around Hull

 

Shed Commentary

The first ever live commentary of a football match took place in a shed, situated in Arsenals old Highbury stadium. (In typical Arsenal fashion, it ended 1-1)

 

Songs from a Shed

While relatively quiet now, Songs from a Shed was once a pretty popular music channel where artists like Tim Minchin and Passenger played songs inside the videographer’s shed.

 

Musical Sheds

Macy Gray has a song called Shed. It doesn’t seem to be about the Colossus or anything, but we can’t be sure that she wasn’t very taken with it either. The only other notable song about sheds is ‘Stay out of the Shed’, by Buckethead, a guy who has recorded over 300+ albums and who plays with a bucket of KFC on his head. No, seriously.

 

Modern Art

In 1991, Modern Artist Cornelia Parker asked the British Army to Explode her shed. She took all the surviving pieces and suspended them from the ceiling. She stuck a single light bulb inside the remains and put it in the Tate Modern, in London. Even if Modern Art isn’t for you, this looks fantastic and is well worth your time.

 

Shed: The Movie

The Shed: The Movie poster. It has the silhouette of a man on the left and he is brandishing a knife. To the right of the frame there is a shed which is dark, but which has red glowing lights piercing out above and below the door. It is cloudy in the background and very ominous.

The 2019 movie, ‘The Shed’ made only $39,992 at the Box Office. For that price, they could have just bought about forty Colossus Sheds instead. It stars Jay Jay Warren, Cody Kostro, Sofia Happonen, Frank Whaley, Timothy Bottoms, Chris Petrovski, and Siobhan Fallon Hogan (No, me neither).

 

Space Cadet!

Irishman Dave Grennan discovered something strange in his garden shed: A Supernova. Or to be more precise, three of them! I can’t even find the spare paintbrushes in mine.

 

Etymology

The word ‘shed’ originates from the Anglo-Saxon term for ‘shade’. It’s a good thing it evolved; The Real Slim Sheddy doesn’t sound quite as good.

 

Greek God

There was an ancient Egyptian god named Shed. He was the god of danger, deadly animals and illness. If you were in need of a cure from a disease or if a crocodile was bearing down on top of you, he was the man to give a shout out to. He was like an emergency St. Anthony.

The Greek God Shed in a golden panel. He is facing to the right and carrying to deer by the horns
The man himself taking a couple of gazelle for a brief stroll.

 

Missing Tortoise

After living with his family for 40 years, Flash the Tortoise suddenly went missing one day. He was found over a month later… chilling out in the neighbours shed. You can hear the story about Flash on ReplyAll (skip to 23.10)

 

Big Ol’ Shed

The biggest shed in the world is the Murtoa Stick Shed. It’s ginormous and it was used to store grain during WW2. It’s a listed property now and it looks terrifying inside.

 

Mr. Shed Shed

‘Shed’ is the #46692nd most common surname in the USA and in 1958, 5 boys were given the forename ‘Shed’. It’s well overdue a comeback.

 

Shed your clothes!

The front cover of the 'fifty sheds of grey' book. It is in a blue and grey tone and features a shed with the words 'a parody' written in the window and 'for the not too modern male' along the bottom

Fifty Sheds of Grey is an interesting take on the EL James’ bestseller. It has sequels too – Fifty Sheds Damper and Fifty Sheds of grey: Three in a Shed.

 

Famous Authors

Famous literary works to be written in a shed include Dylan Thomas’ Do Not Go Gentle into That Good Night, Philip Pullman’s His Dark Materials Trilogy as well as a multitude of books by Roald Dahl.

 

Cash in the Attic, I mean Shed

The most expensive motorbike ever to sell at auction was found in a shed in 2016. Despite being in a fairly average condition, The 1932 Brough Superior 800cc BS4 sold for over three times it’s valuation at £331.9k. Seven other rare motorbikes were found at the same property in Cornwall, England.

 

Shed on water

The ‘Shed of the Year’ can be a surprisingly dull affair. I know, I’m typing that and I live and breathe sheds. But in 2012, Geoff Hill rightly won the ‘unique shed’ award for his floating entry. It was a beauty, but it could only be accessed by canoe.

 

Radioactive Shed

David Hahn standing outside his shed where he attempted to build a nuclear reactor
Image Credit: Weird History YouTube: youtube.com/watch?v=G0QMeTjcJDA

In 1995, the EPA (The bad guys in ET and Ghostbusters, for reference) found a radioactive shed in Michigan. David Hahn had convinced a Czechoslovakian company to send him Uranium in an attempt to build a nuclear reactor. He bought thousands of lithium batteries and glow-in-the-dark materials in an attempt to get everything he needed for his reactor. While he was moving radium in pickle jars, it was going relatively well. He was only caught when he and his friends tried to move the shed to a more remote location, only to be stopped by the police to alleged tyre theft. When they searched the car, the initially thought it was a bomb. They later found his radioactive shed still at his mothers house; it was giving off over 1,000 times more radiation than normal background radiation.

 

Colossus Shed of Rhodes

Our Colossus Shed is named after one of the Ancient Wonders of the World. The ‘Colossus of Rhodes‘ was a massive statue of the Greek sun god (Helios) that was at the edge of the harbour in Rhodes. It was allegedly 105ft tall (The Colossus Shed is only 7.5ft tall for reference – but we still think the Greeks would put one up to welcome sailors if given the chance).

Bee Careful

A reddit user found that they had fifty thousand bees living under his shed. FIFTY. THOUSAND. Rather than burn the place to the ground, they relocated the queen and the rest followed along pretty peacefully. You can see a video of it happening here.

fifty thousand bees under a shed

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